The Seismic Alert System (SAS) failed to warn in time about an incoming 7.1 magnitude earthquake; the SAS is designed to anticipate events originated in the Mexican coasts – but this one came 120 kilometers on the opposite direction, from Puebla. By the time the speakers sounded, people were alreadyevacuating or taking shelter wherever they could. God decided to test our resilience in the same way, 32 years later.

 

     Many, like myself and all those who were born after 1985, realized the severity of what it meant just minutes later when WhatsApp footage became viral, phone call attempts to or from relatives were difficult to connect, strangers faces frightened, and the continuous flight of helicopters were hard to ignore. I had previous experience in communities affected by natural phenomena but never in my hometown, which resulted in a much more stressful and meaningful situation. That same atmosphere enhanced my feelings of loneliness and vulnerability, since I was the only member of my nuclear family living in Mexico City.

 

     And so I felt the need to go and see with my own eyes. I needed to see. And I’d be a hypocrite if I said that my interest was no other than to restore self-assurance. I didn’t care about anything else. Not this time; I was afraid for myself.

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     In my quest to find certainty, I could only perceive confusion. I refused to develop Acute Stress Disorder; I went out every day for a week around 20:00 p.m. and came back after 8:00 a.m.; nightmares haunted me during daytime in my apartment, and I could only feel safe on the streets at night - my circadian rhythm had turn 180 degrees; no hunger; unable to think of anything else. Passing down buckets with rubble in a human chain of volunteers became my cathartic attempt of psychological healing. Photographing was just as necessary to assimilate.

 

     Symptoms persisted for almost 4 weeks but, suddenly, I was calm again. Still, one never fully forgets. Nor should be. It’d be shameful to pretend so when 369 people lost their lives.

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Audio recovered from the app "Zello" in the "Sismo CDMX 2017" channel.